The Bible says in Proverbs 18:22, “Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good
thing, and obtaineth favour
of the LORD.” This means that if you find a wife, you have been blessed
by the Lord. A good wife comes from God. In order to find a wife, this assumes
that you were looking for a wife. If you are looking for a wife, it assumes
that you do not have a wife and that you are alone. If you are looking for a
wife, there is a Biblical way of going about it. There are several important
spiritual principles. They can be found in Genesis chapter 24 when a wife was
found for Isaac. Among the important principles are: 1. Separation from
unbelievers. 2. Prayer. 3. Surrender to God’s will. 4. Being led by God. 5.
Taking advice from your elders. Separation from unbelievers is an important
spiritual principle. Do not be totally separate because you want to influence
them for Christ, but do not get too close where they are influencing you. “What communion hath light with darkness?” None. It also says in Second Corinthians 7:14, “Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers.” Hopefully, you believe in Jesus and walk close to Him;
and therefore, you want to marry only someone who also believes in Jesus and
walks close to Him. That means that you will only look for those who fit that criteria. If they do not know Jesus as Savior and
follow Him closely, then you cross them off your list of potentials. Abraham
said in Genesis 24:3, “…thou shalt not take
a wife unto my son of the daughters of the Canaanites, among whom I dwell.”
Prayer changes things because God
answers prayer. We should pray about everything, starting with the most
important things in our lives. After accepting Jesus as Savior, there is
nothing more important than whom you marry and when you marry. If you know Jesus
as your Savior, God has another Christian already chosen just for you. God will
guide you to her and guide her to you in His time and in His way. Of course,
you are also looking just as Abraham was looking for a wife for Isaac. But you
must pray, and continue to pray. Rely on the Lord. Abraham’s servant was sent
to look for a wife for Isaac, and the servant turned to the Lord and prayed in
Genesis 24:12-14, “And he said, O LORD God of my master Abraham, I pray thee, send
me good speed this day, and shew kindness unto my master Abraham.[13]
Behold, I stand here by the well of water; and the daughters of the men of the
city come out to draw water:[14] And let it come to pass, that the
damsel to whom I shall say, Let down thy pitcher, I pray thee, that I may
drink; and she shall say, Drink, and I will give thy camels drink also: let the
same be she that thou hast appointed for thy servant Isaac; and thereby shall I
know that thou hast shewed kindness unto my master.”
If you are praying with the proper
attitude, then that means you are surrendering to God’s will. Someone who is
determined to marry the wrong person for the wrong reason is not going to find
God’s will no matter if they pretend to pray or not. Remember that Jesus
prayed, “Not my will, but thine be done.” You really need God’s will
because He loves you, and He knows what is best for you. God knew that Adam
needed a helpmeet, and God created her, and then God brought her to the man.
God will do the same for the two of you. He will bring you together in His
time: when He thinks you are ready. God is love. All true love comes from God.
When God brings two people together, He gives them love for each other. When
only one person thinks that they are in love but the other does not, that is
not love. You cannot make that person love you. Be careful of foolish
infatuations. Remember that this is a person with whom you are planning to
spend the rest of your life: you cannot make them love you.
Follow God the best you know how in
each thing that you do, and then He will also lead you in finding your mate.
You follow God by asking for God’s will. You follow God by being surrendered to
His will. You follow God by reading the Bible and attempting to put it into
practice in your own life. You follow God by confessing your sins if you fail.
And you follow God by keeping your eyes on Jesus. Jesus is the Shepherd who
leads the sheep.
It is important to note how much
Abraham was involved in getting Isaac’s wife. Of course, it was a much
different culture than ours, but there is something that can be learned from
it. Young people should not surrender their choice to another family member,
but single adults should listen respectfully to parents or grandparents or
other adults who care about them and who will look at things from an
unemotional perspective, having lived a little longer and having learned a few
more things about life. What do the elders in your life think about this other
person that you might marry? The choice is yours because you must live with the
results, but make sure you at least respectfully listen to others. They might
be wrong, but also God might speak through them. Evidently, Rebekah’s family
approved of her going to marry Isaac, but they still gave her the choice. It
says in Genesis 24:57-60, “And they said, We will
call the damsel, and inquire at her mouth.[58] And they called Rebekah,
and said unto her, Wilt thou go with this man? And she said, I will go.[59]
And they sent away Rebekah their sister, and her nurse, and Abraham's servant,
and his men.[60] And they blessed Rebekah, and said unto her, Thou art
our sister, be thou the mother of thousands of millions, and let thy seed
possess the gate of those which hate them.” God brought Rebekah
and Isaac together, and notice the result of God’s guiding hand. It says in
Genesis 24:67, “And Isaac brought her into
his mother Sarah's tent, and took Rebekah, and she became his wife; and he
loved her: and Isaac was comforted after his mother's death.”
The Bible says in Proverbs 18:23, “The poor useth intreaties; but the rich answereth roughly.” There is a difference
between the rich and the poor. It is the difference between the haves and the
have-nots. It is similar to the difference between management and workers. Once
someone makes it in life, they tend to look down on those who have not made it.
The rich can easily become proud and think they are better than others. Instead
of giving glory to God, they think they themselves accomplished their success.
With such an attitude, how are they going to turn to God and ask for the
forgiveness of sins? Unfortunately for them, most rich people will not turn to
God. Their destiny will be the same as the rich man that Jesus spoke of in Luke
16:22-23, “…the rich man also died, and was
buried;[23] And in hell he lift up his eyes, being in torments…”
The Bible says in Proverbs 18:24, “A man that
hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.”
There is one major requirement to having friends: you must be friendly. You
have the ability to control your own fate in this regard. If you want friends,
learn to be friendly. Take the lead. People will react to you based upon what
you are like. It fits into what Jesus said, “With
the same measure that you mete, it shall be measured to you again.” Once you do gain a friend, you have gained a great
thing. Hopefully, when you get married, you will gain a lover and a friend.
Once you come to know Jesus as Savior, He will be your friend. And Jesus will
be the best friend that you will ever have. Family members might fail you, but
a true friend never will.
The Bible says in Proverbs 19:1, “Better is
the poor that walketh in his integrity, than he that is perverse in his lips,
and is a fool.” This verse is an emphasis on the fact that the most
important thing about you is the type of person that you are. And the emphasis
is on what you do and not what you say. Even if you are poor, you will be rich
because you will have a very rare commodity that is priceless in this life: a
good character. One of the many benefits of believing in Jesus and following
Him is that He will have a plan for your life to improve you and make you a
better person. That is far better than money. One of the ways of recognizing a
person who does not have integrity is by their words. Two of the Ten
Commandments have to do with what people say. “Thou
shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain.” “Thou shalt not lie.” Listen to how people use their words, and you will know
if they have integrity or not.
The Bible says in Proverbs 19:2, “Also, that
the soul be without knowledge, it is not good; and he that hasteth
with his feet sinneth.” Life has a proper pace to
it, or it should have. It is dangerous to go too fast: that is true with
driving an automobile and it is true with conducting your own life. Guess what
might happen if you rush into marriage: you might marry the wrong person, and
go through years of great suffering because of it. It might take years to pray,
and to wait upon God just to find the right person for you. Do not rush into
any decision. Take time to learn about it, think about it, and pray about it.
Jesus was never in a hurry, but He was always occupied in the Father’s
business.
The Bible says in Proverbs 19:3, “The
foolishness of man perverteth his way: and his heart fretteth against the Lord.” If you are foolish, you will
not understand important things about life, and you will make wrong decisions,
and the wrong decisions will lead you further and further into a path that is
perverted from the way God wants things to be. For an example: Hollywood is a
satanic cesspool of wickedness, ungodliness, and uncontrolled lust. If a young
adult makes a decision like the following: “I believe I have some talent. I
think I will go to Hollywood and try to start a career.” Such a decision puts a
lamb in the midst of wolves. And then once they are in that evil empire, they
will be told such things as: “You must do x, y, and z or you will never have a
career in this town.” Now they have another decision to make: do they allow
themselves to be used for horribly immoral acts, or do they go elsewhere and
start another dream? If they make the wrong decision and allow the immoral
acts, they are now full-fledged participants of perversion. “The
foolishness of man perverteth his way.”
The same thing can happen with the
drinking of alcoholic beverages. Has the following ever happened: a young
person sees peers drinking alcohol, and they immediately have a decision to
make. The Bible gives many warnings about alcoholic beverages. For example,
Proverbs 20:1 says, “Wine is a mocker, strong drink is raging: and whosoever is
deceived thereby is not wise.” In spite of warnings of the dangers of alcohol,
that person decides to try it. That is the first bad decision. Then they decide
to continue drinking alcohol on a more regular basis. That is the second wrong
decision, and it can horribly alter their life. Millions of people the world
over became alcoholics because of following such a decision process, and saw
the ruin of their families, their health, and their careers because of it. The
same can be said about drugs, both legal and illegal.
The second part of Proverbs 19:3
speaks of a foolish person and says, “his heart fretteth
against the Lord.” The spiritual problem for a foolish person is found in the
heart, and it is a problem about their attitude toward the Lord. The word “to
fret” in this context means “to be angry with.” Sadly, people get angry with
God, and guess who will win that contest? Since God is the source of wisdom,
anyone who is not rightly related to the Lord Jesus will in some way be
foolish. If you do not know the Lord, you can fall at the feet of Jesus, call
upon His name, and ask Him to forgive you.
___________________________________________________
Copyright; 2017 by Charles
F. (Rick) Creech
All Rights Reserved