Exodus 20:12

God gave the fifth of the Ten Commandments, and God said in Exodus 20:12, “Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.” This is the only commandment in the Ten Commandments that relates to the parent-child relationship. It is important to notice that it is not a commandment to the parents, but it is a commandment to the children. If a child has half-way decent parents and that child goes wrong in life, it is usually the fault of the child and not the fault of the parents. God has established a hierarchy in life. That is why it says in Romans 13:1-2, “Let every soul be subject unto the higher powers. For there is no power but of God: the powers that be are ordained of God. Whosoever therefore resisteth the power, resisteth the ordinance of God: and they that resist shall receive to themselves damnation.” The hierarchy in the family is as follows: first God, then the parents, and lastly the children. The children need to learn from the parents, and that tells us what the primary responsibility of the parent is: to teach the children. The Bible says in Ephesians 6:4, “And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.” It is very important to remember this: the New Testament does not tell Christian parents to spank their children, but it does tell them to teach their children. The word that is translated “nurture” is the same word that is translated “instruction” in Second Timothy 3:16 that says the scriptures are profitable for “instruction in righteousness.” This instruction involves correcting children, teaching them right from wrong, and teaching them the scriptures.

But even though you have taught someone the right way does not mean that they will follow the right way. You cannot force anyone to do anything, if they are determined to resist no matter what. Because the fifth commandment is directed to children, the primary responsibility is given to children for their own behavior. Individual responsibility is emphasized. Don’t blame your own actions and your own behavior on your parents. God holds you accountable for you own actions no matter who your parents are. Children who learn to honor their parents will more readily learn to honor God when they come to the point in life where they realize that they must follow God. The day will come when they will be adults, and Christ will be the authority that they should honor and follow.

If you honor your parents, it means that you give a lot of weight and a lot of consideration to what they say. Most parents love their children, and give advice to the children so that things will turn out well for the children. Not many people will ever love you as much as your parents do if they are normal parents or even average parents, except maybe your spouse. Therefore, when you are a child, make sure that you honor your parents. If you do not honor your parents, then you will not follow their advice, and the consequences can be quite disastrous. The parents have been there before. They know, and they want to see good things happen to their children. The children who dishonor their parents and who do not listen to them will guarantee one thing: bad consequences from doing the wrong thing. Wise children became wise because they listened to their parents. Foolish children became foolish because they did not listen. In Exodus 20:12 God gave the practical reason that children should honor their parents: “that thy days may be long upon the land which the LORD thy God giveth thee.” Some people die young because they did not listen to their parents.

The Bible says in Exodus 20:13, “Thou shalt not kill.” The word that is translated “kill” also means murder. We know that it means “murder” in this commandment because elsewhere the Israelites are commanded to put people to death under certain circumstances. For example, Moses wrote in the law in Numbers 35:30, “Whoso killeth any person, the murderer shall be put to death by the mouth of witnesses: but one witness shall not testify against any person to cause him to die.” There are at least three circumstances in which killing does not violate this commandment that says, “Thou shalt not murder.” The first has to do with capital punishment administered by the government for murder or other heinous crimes against mankind. The second has to do with soldiers or police officers in the performance of their duties. And the third has to do with self-defense, the principle on which is based the Second Amendment to the Constitution of the United States: the right to bear arms.

Concerning soldiers and police officers, notice what is said to soldiers in Mark chapter three. People were coming to John the Baptist, asking him what should they do to demonstrate that they had really repented and turned to God. Notice what they are told in Mark 3:14, “And the soldiers likewise demanded of him, saying, and what shall we do? And he said unto them, Do violence to no man, neither accuse any falsely; and be content with your wages.” They were not told to stop being soldiers. But they were told to be the best of soldiers the way that servants of God should be. An ungodly soldier who was violent and dishonest could cause a lot of problems for people. They had the power to harm others and to bring accusations against people. Of course, in time of war a person in uniform would by definition have to be prepared to kill the enemies who would attack their country, but in order to serve God they must not use their power wrongly in any way that would harm innocent people.

We understand “thou shalt not murder.” Life is precious. Life is a gift from God, and life should be valued and prolonged as much as possible. Since God gives life, He is the one who should take it. To murder another human being is a great sin. Most people can probably say, “I have never committed that sin. I have never murdered anyone.” But Jesus taught us that it is much easier to be guilty of the sin of murder than we might think. Jesus said in Matthew 5:21-22, “Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not kill; and whosoever shall kill shall be in danger of the judgment: But I say unto you, That whosoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment: and whosoever shall say to his brother, Raca, shall be in danger of the council: but whosoever shall say, Thou fool, shall be in danger of hell fire.” Jesus ties murder and anger closely together. Maybe there are many people guilty of murder in their hearts based upon the kind of anger that they have. Many murders stem from anger. If people did not have the wrong kind of anger, there would be a lot less murders. But Jesus made it clear how difficult the judgment will be. People will be judged not only for their actions, but also for what takes place in their mind and their heart. If you look closely at the Ten Commandments, you will notice that they are really based upon what goes on inside your mind and your heart even more so than your actions. God sees the heart, and He judges the heart. Jesus said in Mathew 22:37-40, “Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.”

The Bible says in Exodus 20:14, “Thou shalt not commit adultery.” The closest of human relationships is meant to be the husband-wife relationship. God set life up this way. The Bible says in Genesis 2:21-25, “And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.” God established marriage between a man and a woman, and God established the unique intimate relationship between a man and a woman based upon love: physical and emotional love. This bond between a man and a woman in marriage was established evidently to symbolize one relationship that is even greater: the relationship between Christ and a believer. The Bible says in Ephesians 5:25, “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it.” Believers are also called the “bride” of Christ. It says in Revelation 21:9, “And there came unto me one of the seven angels which had the seven vials full of the seven last plagues, and talked with me, saying, Come hither, I will shew thee the bride, the Lamb’s wife.”

The marriage bond was meant to be a bond between a man and a woman that is not easily broken. Ideally, it will only be broken by death. Jesus taught that it can also be broken by the sin of adultery. That is one of the reasons that adultery is so bad: it can destroy the marriage bond, and God does not want the marriage bond to be broken. Jesus said in Matthew 19:9, “Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.” The passage about marriage in First Corinthians 7:14-15 also indicates that the marriage bond can be broken by either desertion or violence. It says, “For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy. But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace.”

In addition to keeping the marriage bond as God wants it to be kept, there are many practical reasons to obey the commandment: “Thou shalt not commit adultery.” Think of what the consequences can be to committing such an act: venereal disease, an unwanted pregnancy, betrayal, a guilty conscience, shame, a ruined testimony, causing negative and harmful impacts on other family members or children, and anger and hatred. God gives us commands so that we will have the happiest life possible. All of Satan’s apples have worms. Because of what Jesus taught about adultery, many more people are guilty before God of this sin. Jesus said in Matthew 5:27-30, “Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery: But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart. And if thy right eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell. And if thy right hand offend thee, cut if off, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell.”

If you are going to avoid committing adultery, then first of all you must learn to not commit adultery in your heart. To do that you must accept the truth that one man with one woman is God’s plan, and that truth is what you live by and what you want to live by. It is your goal to live the way that God set things up from the beginning when He first put Adam an Eve on the earth. Of course, if you want to have a one-man one-woman relationship for your entire life, then it is very important that you make the right choice. You must have wisdom and patience to make the right choice and both wisdom and patience come from God. Make sure that you pray and ask for God’s will in making any choice, especially the choice of whom you will marry.

Guard your eyes. The desires that enter the heart often start by what enters through the eyes. When you have the choice, do not look at anything that might cause you to lust. Also, when you dress make sure that you dress appropriately and modestly so that your body is not used to cause others to lust. According to the will of God, the beauty of your body is for the one to whom you are married or will marry and for no one else. It says in First Timothy 2:9, “In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array.”

What about those who have been divorced? You cannot change the past. You can only go forward. Jesus is a God of forgiveness and second chances. Just make sure that you go forward with the biblical attitude about the opposite sex. From this day forward for the rest of your life, there is only one for you. Find that one in the will of God. If you are a man, view all other women as either sisters or mothers. You are to have one lover and that is your wife. If you are a woman, view all other men as either brothers or fathers. God said, “Thou shalt not commit adultery.”

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